Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Book of Eli

Netflix sez...
2010 R 118 minutes
Determined to salvage a sacred text in order to protect humanity, Eli (Denzel Washington) goes on a quest across the country in this action-packed sci-fi adventure. Meanwhile, a blind woman named Claudia (Jennifer Beals) tries to protect her daughter, Solara (Mila Kunis). It seems that tyrannical town bully Carnegie (Gary Oldman) has taken a shine to the girl. Directed by the Hughes brothers, the film co-stars Ray Stevenson.

The 73rd Virgin sez...
A Canticle for Mad YojimboMax Beyond The Road to Fallout 451. If you havent read, seen, or played any of those referenced above, you might think this was okay. Maybe I am just post-apocalypted-out, but there is almost NOTHING original in this movie. The PLO towel around Denzel's neck is kinda unique, I guess. And the fight scenes where the bad guys circle around Denzel and then politely wait their turn to get killed - those had to have been put in for the overseas audiences. And the drive from Carlsbad Caverns to northern California on one tank of gas. And Gary Oldman must get paid on a piecemeal basis per each facial tic.

Unlike some other reviewers, I thought Mila Kunis was okay. Her Family Guy "Meg" voice only popped out here and there. But what I would have given for Tina Turner in some shoulder pads. I waited 1 hour and 55 minutes to be surprised, and in the last three minutes, I was - mildly. But I didnt care. Subtract one star for raising expectations with those endless TV ads. Someone call Resident Evil - their stock footage escaped again. This was dull. 1 out of 5 stars.

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